Time Away

This week I took a few days off to just get away. Since I officially committed to teach overseas in early April, it feels like life has been a hurricane of activity, a whirlwind of logistics and I've just been trying my best to stay afloat. Between working 45 hours a week, scheduling and going to what seems like a zillion doctor appointments (really it's only like 6), contacting people to share about what I'll be doing, and just trying to maintain somewhat of a normal social life, it's been rather exhausting. I'm not complaining...it's been good. And it's been sweet to see His hand working so clearly in my life.

 But time away is also good. Especially when it involves going to the place I like to call "heaven on earth" - Anna Maria Island. My great aunt and uncle live in Bradenton and I'm spending a few days with them, just relaxing, soaking in the sun (it's always interesting to see the places you've missed when applying sunscreen...random blotches on my neck and ankle today), running on the beach, and spending time in the Word - somehow  He always seems closer to me when I'm outside enjoying His creation. Ah, time away is sweet. Basking in the glory of His creation is sweet. The heavens declare His glory, the skies proclaim the works of His hands.

Arrived last night in time to see the sunset. Ate my Subway on the beach as the sun drifted into the sea.  Crazy thought - as it disappeared from my sight, it was probably just coming into view in my future home.

Uncle Irvin invited me to join him for lunch today - he meets with some other men for Wednesday lunch, so I joined them. His friend ended up offering to let me hang out at his beach house that afternoon since he and his wife would be gone. Ah, what a special treat!

Here's the view I had all afternoon!

I decided to focus on reading through one particular book while I was away, and since I enjoyed my study of Haggai these past few weeks, I decided to read another rarely-heard-of minor prophet. 

The OT is awesome, and I don't know why I've always thought those smaller books were written in language that was too hard to understand and just didn't apply to me. The second verse stopped me in my tracks. "I have loved you," says the L. But you say,"How have you loved us?" Wow, those words, I have loved you.  I have loved you. I have loved you. Then the response by the people, How? show us how... That is so like me. The Father has gone to the greatest lengths possible to show His love, yet how often do I ask, But, how do you love me? I need to know how... I guess that's why hundreds of years later Paul wrote that he was asking the Father to give them the power to understand just how wide and long and high and deep the Father's love is. It's obvious, but so hard to wrap the mind around and so hard to walk in that reality day by day. Apparently Israel needed a reminder back then, and I needed one today.  Somehow this sweet view of the Gulf was just another small reminder.

My Journey Part 2

A free T-shirt. That's one of the things He used to set me on this path.  Sounds silly, right? Well, let me explain.

Back up about 5 months to December 2009. St. Louis, MO. Urbana 09. It was my second time to the Urbana conference and I was in the massive exhibit hall (basically the size of Costco) where different organizations set up booths in order to "market" themselves. Basically it's a big job fare of sorts for people who are interested in cross-cultural work.

Here is our group visiting Jillian at her organization's booth one day.

Ok, so back to the T-shirt. Many of these booths are filled with little goodies meant to entice one walking by to stop and look. Kind of like a kid right before Christmas. I mean, most of the people going to Urbana are college students, and we all know that college students will do anything for free stuff!  I'm not in college anymore, but I feel like I still have that mindset. So as I was walking along the rows of exhibits in the hall, I saw a pile of free T-shirts. As I paused for just a moment to admire them, a gentleman struck up a conversation with me. He had taught in East Asia for several years in the 90s with the organization I'm going with and is now a professor in Canada and working on his Ph.D. in TESOL.  We had a wonderful conversation - he answered so many of my questions, listened to my fears and gave me such a different perspective as one who has taught overseas and is now training up others to teach English as a second language.

If I'm really honest, I have so many fears about going overseas. Most of them have to do with relationships. What if I come back at almost thirty (rounding up here) and am still unmarried (and with no prospects *gasp*)? What if my sister beats me to the altar (which is looking very likely!)? What if I come back and all my friends have found "the one" and I feel like life has passed me by? Basically I just was overwhelmed with the thought of life going on without me and feeling out of place when I come back. This is an excerpt from a journal entry I wrote that day, I have so many fears about going overseas... Never thought I'd be here, and be here single. These fears are holding me back, but could it be He says to me, "Come and you will see"? See what I can do if you don't let your fears hold you back, if you commit your life to making My Name great (and not just changing your last name). You're probably thinking, wow, she's pretty obsessed with getting married. Maybe that's true, but I'm just being honest about how much of a struggle it was to consider living in another country as a single woman.  (At this point too, I was thinking the minimum committment was 2 years, but as you probably know, the country I'm going to allows for a one-year term which is what I've committed to do.)

That conversation and the time I spent later that day processing and praying through those fears with Him was a turning point for me. I had faced my fears. Let the monsters out of hiding. And I knew that the things I was putting my hope in - security, friends, a relationship - were not what I wanted my life to be defined by. I wanted my life to be defined by making the Famous One great. Right now we're going through one of the lesser known prophets at OGC and this segment has really hit me hard (in a good way)

"Be strong, all you people of the land...Work, for I am with you...according to the covenant that I made with you whem you came out of Egypt. My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear not." If He is with me, I need not fear. He makes me strong. He allows me to work for Him. And, I'm learning - slowly - that there is no greater way to spend my life...in my 20s, and 30s and 40s, or for however long He sees fit.

So, I never did get that T-shirt. But the Lord gave me a much greater, and longer-lasting gift - a renewed perspective, a clearer pathway and the ability to surrender some of the things that I try to cling to with a death-grip. Sure, He still has to peel my fingers back every-once-in-a-while (Ok, sometimes every hour!), but that is what true surrender is - a day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment choice to believe Him rather than the lies that fill my head and the fears that plague my heart.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways....For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

My Journey Part 1

As many of you probably already know (especially if you're coming to this site), I'm embarking on a new adventure and am anticipating a complete life change in the next few months. In July, I'll be leaving Orlando (the place I've called home for almost all of my 27 years!) and journeying down a new road. If you're wondering just what country that road leads to, read the title of my blog again and see if you can figure it out (hint: it's an acronym).

If you still can't figure it out, here's another hint:

I wanted to start off this blog by sharing my story and the background that has led me to this point. One of the things I'm convinced the Father used to ingnite a passion in my heart for other nations and cultures was being a host family. My family started hosting exchange students in 1993. I was 10. But I distinctly remember having a love for culture even at that age. I loved learning about other countries and languages and found it fascinating to try and communicate with these new friends, even if it meant slowing down my speaking speed considerably and stumbling through the lost-in-translation process. Over the years my family continued to host students from a number of different places - Japan, Siberia, France, China, and Switzerland. And He continued to grow that love for the nations in my heart.

Hosting a couple from China December 2009

I went on a few trips to Mexico in high school and then in college, I got involved with a Japanese homestay program joining activities and teaching some English classes and fell in love with everything about Japan - the culture, the language, and most of all, the people.

Mission To Japan Beach Retreat 2005

After my second trip to Japan, and a brief period of teaching free English classes there, I felt the need to receive more training if I truly wanted to be an English teacher. So, I decided to get my M.A. in TESOL (in case you don't know what that stands for, and no one ever does, it means: Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages). I felt like those credentials might be able to open doors to certain places that needed to hear the Good News, but might not allow people in under spiritual auspices.

Graduating Sisters :)

That was two years ago. Since then, I spent a year teaching at UCF's language school called CMMS (another acronym no one ever knows the meaning of!) where I met people from all over the world - literally. I had students from Brazil, Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, Korea, Libia, Kuwait, Japan, Taiwan, Yemen, China. What an incredibly rich experience - culturally and academically. It was a wonderful place to teach and be mentored in academic excellence.

CMMS Students/Friends at Graduation Ceremony

CMMS Halloween Party

And just when I felt like I knew the direction my life was heading, a curve-ball came along. Well, maybe I should say 3 adorable heart-melting curve balls! :) In February of last year, my roomate Carissa took me over to her boss's house to meet her boss's five-month-old triplets. It was pretty low-key, I didn't expect much - just visiting some cutie-pie babies I'd heard so much about. Obviously God had other plans, and it was a divine appointment of sorts. I was in love (no not with a man, sorry mom! But, with two little men and a little lady:).

Charlie, Katie "Goose", and Will

After spending a lot of time with the triplets and their parents over the next few months, I sensed God's tug on my heart to become the nanny for their family. And, I've never looked back. It was a tough decision to make - I had just recently earned my Master's and was hoping to "build my career", but as I've learned by watching my mom and her dedication to my siblings and I, sometimes pouring your life into children can be the most important "career" of all .

It has been a sweet year. A year of learning the small miracles that happen in the lives of children every day. A year of learning more about God's love for me - His precious child. A year of learning to trust God in the big and the small. God is not just in the spectacular - He is in the seemingly mundane, every day things, and He wants my worship and praise in the day-to-day stuff that might not seem like a big deal to me.

Leu Gardens with the triplets

Family dinner for my 27th Birthday

Stay tuned for part 2 :)

Power Outage

For some reason, around 6:00 last evening, a bunch of houses on our street lost power. Pretty random. I mean, usually that only happens if a substantial hurricane hits (and even then, we've only lost power once). I was at growth group when it happened, and came home around 10:45 to a street shrouded in darkness and the hum of power trucks across the street. Putting the key in the key hole was a struggle because it was so stinkin' dark. When I walked in, the house was totally black with the exception of a lone candle on the desk by the door. I walked in to say hi to Jill and Charles and was shocked at how muggy and hot it felt in their room. All of a sudden it clicked - oh yeah, A/C is run by electricity. Ok, that sounds obvious, but living in the U.S. we never really have to think about that. We just push a button and the A/C comes on, or flick a switch and, voila, let there be light. It is instinctive and second nature. Well, I made it to my room by candlelight and was continually surprised as I went through my bedtime routine of just how often I am dependent on electrical power. Brush teeth and wash face by candlelight. Set alarm by candlelight (which didn't go so well - I didn't see that my alarm was set for p.m. so I overslept this morning!). Think about turning on air purifier...no, can't do that either. Update my facebook status so the whole world knows I don't have power...um, need power to do that. Negatory. Walk out to kitchen for my nightly cup of water. Oh yeah, the fridge is off so the water dispenser on it doesn't work either.

As I lay in bed, wearing the coolest clothes possible and minimal covers since it was so hot, I started thinking about just how spoiled I am living in the U.S. where we never have to think about these kinds of things. Things that are daily realities for people in other countries. And, it made me wonder how often this happens in the place where I'll be going. Maybe it sounds funny, but it was actually kind of fun doing things by candlelight. I felt like a little kid again. But I don't think I would have that same kind of spirit about it if I had to deal with it every day. It made me realize how much I take for granted, and how rarely I appreciate the little luxuries in my life. I want to have a heart of gratitude. And an attitude that readily adjusts when my conveniences turn into inconveniences. Especially as I look towards spending a year in a "developing" country - may my spoiled, blessed life in America not taint my attitude as I adjust to a new way of life, and learn to be flexible, whether in plenty or in want. To do all things through Him who strengthens His children.

Around midnight I awoke to a faint humming noise and realized my air purifier had turned on. Gradually, my sleepy brain computed that my fan was spinning too. The power was back on, after a mere six hours.

Glory

Was listening to iTunes yesterday and the following song came on. I felt like it really captured what my heart's desire is for this next year (and really, what should be our hope for all lands). So I wanted to share it on here ...

One day eyes that are blind will see you clearly
And one day all who deny will finally believe
One day hearts made of stone will break in pieces
And one day chains once unbroken will fall down at your feet
So we wait for that one day, come quickly

We want to see your Glory
Every knee falls down before thee
Every tongue offers you praise
With every hand raised
Singing Glory
To you and unto you only
We'll sing Glory to Your name

We know not the day or the hour
Or the moments in between
But we know the end of the story
When we'll see